The Goddess and The Lizard, and Other Stories
by Bong Bong Bong
Summary: "As a matter of fact, every now and then, it can still be heard: the little cries of the abyss."
1. The Goddess and The Lizard

**The Goddess and The Lizard**

* * *

Once upon a time, there lived a goddess and a lizard.

They had been together for a very long time. It might have been days, or it might have been decades. It didn't matter to them. Spending time with each other, their days were just like moments turned to hours.

Wherever the goddess went, the lizard would follow, perched upon her shoulder. They were very happy to be by each other's side. They were happy enough to be by each other's side.

One snowy winter morning, with the sun shining softly through the clouds, they were flying past an empty meadow when the lizard said,

"I'm feeling a little tired."

"Then should we stop for now?"  
"Yes, please. Thank you."

And so, they landed in a small clearing. The goddess sat on the grass, gently letting the lizard down beside her.

"It's cold today, isn't it?" the lizard said.  
"Then do you want to huddle closer?"  
"Nn. Okay."

The goddess puffed up her wings and folded them onto her lap. Then, picking the lizard up, the goddess nestled her in her fluffy feathers.

"Is it warmer now?" the goddess smiled and said.  
"It is. Thank you."

The lizard curled up comfortably.

"Are you sleepy?" the lizard asked.  
"Not really."  
"I'm sleepy. Can I rest here?"

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"Nn. You get some rest."  
"Really? It's fine? Just for a bit?"  
"Really. It's fine. You've lived a long life, so it's fine."  
"Have I lived a long life? How long has it been? I'm not too sure anymore."  
"Nn. I'm not too sure either."  
"But I have lived a long life, haven't I? It's true, isn't it? So it's okay for me to sleep now, right?"  
"Of course. It's okay. You go to sleep."

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"Uwehihi. I've lived a long, long life with you, so this is a nice and peaceful death. Don't you think so too?"

"Yes. I do think so too. You can sleep well now."

"Oyasumi."

"Oyasuminasai."

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"Homura-chan?"

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"Homura-chan?"

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"Ah, ah! Please don't cry, Homura-chan! I want you to send me off with a smile! Thank you for everything, Homura-chan!"

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* * *

 _Long before then, on a fine spring day, when they were strolling about the gardens together –_

 _"Madoka."_

 _"Nani, Homura-chan?"_

 _"Don't you want to become a goddess too, just like before? Then we can be together forever."_

 _"It's alright! I'm a lizard that lives and dies! Don't worry, Homura-chan! I'm still alive! And even when I'm gone, I'll always be with you because of the time when I was alive!"_


	2. Little Cry of The Abyss

**"Behind the thin animal disguise, it is universal human frailty and folly that is displayed before us."**  
D.D.R. Owen, on The Romance of Reynard the Fox

 **「嗟乎，異物之情也有人道!」**  
 _"Ah! The emotions of supernatural beings reflect the kindness of human existence!"_  
沈既济，任氏傳 (Shen Jiji, The Legend of Lady Ren)

* * *

 **A/N:** A set of fairy tales and the like on PMMM. Some will be happy. Enjoy.

* * *

 **Little Cry of the Abyss**

Secretly, the salamander was sad.

Whenever it wanted to leave its underwater cave, try as it might, it would always get its head stuck at the exit. Even now, in the little cave that had been its home since the very beginning, the exit still remained as small as ever. This would always make the salamander gloomy.

Nonetheless, with its heart set on leaving into the great blue ocean, it burrowed its tail into the exit and tried to break apart the coral walls. At some point, it even tried making itself go hungry. But with the passing of time – suddenly, two years had already gone! – the salamander's body grew and grew.

By the time the salamander realised it, it had already grown too big. Certainly, the exit was wider now, but the salamander's body already adapted to the shape of the exit. Now, its tail was stuck outside. It could neither leave the cave nor roam around freely within it anymore. This fact left the salamander devastated.

"Looks like I really screwed up this time, huh…" And it laughed at itself in derision.

In the past, small as it was, the cave was still wide enough for the salamander to swim about. With the body it had now, it could probably still afford the salamander some space to wiggle around. But that was not all. However small the cave might have been, the salamander had never lived its life in darkness. The cave might have been small, but its height seemed to reach all the way up to the heavens. Every day shone down a bright and fulfilling light from above. All about the cave's structure were little holes, through which little creatures and fishies of the sea would playfully swim in and out, to and fro.

And so, all its life, alone from the bottom of the sandy cave, the salamander gazed upwards to the light and outwards into the great big blue, wishing it would one day be able to go nearer to the bright and the blue. It was a simple dream. And as all very simple dreams tend to do, it had at last led to the salamander into such a very big problem. At least, it could still roll on its belly and move about a short distance. Heaving a deep sigh, it looked down at the sand and mumbled to itself in determination.

"Bloody hell. Nothing to do now but think of another way then. Better make myself comfortable in the meantime."

But unfortunately, no matter how much it tried to think, there was no way out. Thankfully, it at least managed to make itself comfortable.

The little fishies used to like to play with the salamander. They don't anymore. At first, the salamander was playful and fun to be around. After its parents and sister died, the salamander became sad. Then, when it finally went and stuck itself in the exit, it became even more sad. And one day, the salamander got so sick of being sad, it became angry. Its anger drove off all its friends. The salamander was left bitter and lonely and cold. Now, it lived through each day without a care in the world. It had no choice but to.

Not all was dull and dreary though. Along the cave's colourful coral walls, there would grow many kinds of mosses and liverworts. Some of them would even begin to flower! The flowers were usually too small to see from where it was, but looking carefully, they were sure to be there. They were very beautiful and very colourful. What's more, when enough of them began to bloom, the whole wall would be covered in a mix of splendid colour! Green would turn to white, blue would turn to red, and grey would turn to yellow. The salamander watched all this from the bottom of its cave, glad.

But sometimes, these flowers would start bearing fruit. And when their fruit was ripe, they would burst open to let out many, many white spores. Every time this used to happen, the salamander would always get irritated, believing that the spores would dirty its cave. This was especially the case whenever white lines started appearing on the coral. Of course, now that it was unable to move freely, it stopped caring too much about the spores. But, looking at the spores dance about in the air and in the water, it would think of the times when it used to stick its little head through those small holes she could reach, gazing out at the pretty flora and fauna that were all outside the cave.

And every now and then, flower petals from the water surface would suddenly plunge down into the sea, colouring everything in the colours of the land. And the salamander would think happily to itself: it's raining spring! But it goes without saying, of course, that the salamander would much rather it rain food instead.

Naturally, the cave was partially in the water, partially out of it. Some parts of the cave had very fast-flowing water, and the salamander often liked to dip its body inside and enjoy the sensation. Nearer the holes where the water poured from, the water flow was always slow. Many different aquatic plants would grow there, giving the salamander enough to eat. Even now that it was stuck, it could still reach for those plants, luckily enough.

But whenever it was eating, it would look outside, and it would find schools of clownfish all hiding within the sea anemone, swimming about from place to place, never resting. The salamander always thought of those clownfish as the most weak and unfree things to ever have lived. Sometimes, when it felt like it, it would even shout out,

"Ya'll pitiful unfree pieces of shit!"

Naturally, the clownfish paid no heed and went about their daily business as usual. The salamander, of course, was satisfied enough to simply have spoken its mind.

Sometimes, a group of cherry shrimp would swim down and make fun of the salamander. Poor thing! they would say. The salamander would not react. Then, when they came close enough, the salamander would slash at the shrimp or swallow them whole. The same went for any fish that tried to fight it. The salamander would beach the fish ashore and proceed to eat it up. As for its tail, the salamander buried it deep beneath the sand, to prevent anything from disturbing or hurting it.

Then there came one night, some weeks after. An old friend dropped by.

"Oi, Mami?!"

The tiger prawn rushed in through one of the small holes. But once it entered the cave, its movements became sluggish. At last, tired, it began scraping its body along the walls, before falling right before the salamander.

"Oi…"

The tiger prawn lay still. At first, the salamander wanted to get closer and examine the state of its fallen friend. But it was afraid of disturbing the prawn. It knew for a long time that something like this would probably happen to the prawn, but she never expected to see the end of it.

"You really went and did it, huh? Damn idiot."

But then, the most unexpected thing happened! The tiger prawn leapt up and, swimming to the fast-moving stream, released all its eggs into the water. Then, it crawled to a corner of the cave and shrivelled up. The prawn was dead, becoming just like the black stones that littered the floor. Yet, for some reason, it seemed as though the prawn, dead as it was, was somehow still smiling at the salamander.

"What the – "

The salamander felt a surge of anger and desperation boiling inside.

Immediately, it tried to leave the cave again.

With all its might, it plunged its body outwards! It pushed, and it pushed. It slammed its body against the walls. It clawed away at the exit, trying to chip away all the coral and stone that it could. And it got through! – but only partially. Now, it was stuck all the way up to its hind legs, secure as a cork within a bottle. It panicked. It tried to pull itself back in, but to no avail.

"AAAAAAARGH! FUCK!"

It screamed.

Then, it cried.

"God, fucking hell, am I just gonna be stuck in this fucking place all my life?! What did I do for things to be this shitty?! What did I do to become this fucking pathetic?! Fucking hell, I'm gonna go crazy like this…"

Now, it tried again, but it met only failure. Its tail was now firmly stuck inside. There was no way of pulling it out. No matter how much it tried to heave itself out, its legs would only sink softly into the shifting sand. It was a futile effort. It knew this much. But it could not allow itself to stop.

And so, endlessly clawing away at empty sand, tears began running down its face.

"God, why couldn't I have been born somewhere else, as something else?"

It looked up. Somewhere out there, there was a world beyond its cave. And somewhere out there, there was a world beyond the water. In that strange and distant world, sometimes, little lily pads would float by. And atop them, frogs would leap and jump about, croaking to their hearts' content. They, and only they, could enjoy the best of both worlds. They could be in the water. They could be on land. They were free, and they could do whatever they wanted.

The salamander gazed enviously at their forms, shining shadows beneath the sun, flying freely from pod to pod. The salamander was touched. Briefly, it imagined that it could very well have been like one of those frogs. But very soon, it closed its eyes and buried its head in the sand. It did not want to look on anymore. It was sad. At that moment, the salamander felt nothing but spite and contempt for those creatures. The salamander felt like it had been forsaken by all the world.

Maybe some would say that the salamander was foolish. Maybe some would say that the salamander simply got what it deserved, that if the salamander had somehow done better, thought better, it would have avoided all this mess to begin with. Furthermore, what did the salamander have to complain about? It had food, it had water, it had shelter, it had some sort of entertainment. Why did it not count its blessings? Why was it yet unsatisfied?

But surely, it was unlucky. Surely anything that found itself trapped in a cold, dark place at the very bottom of the world, and tried with all its might to escape but to no avail – surely, this would make anything taste the same despair as the salamander did. And if you were stuck in such a situation, deep, deep in a hole where no one could hear you, where no one could reach out to you, surely you too would cry out in anguish as the salamander did.

When its eyes were open, the salamander saw all the world in all its beautiful colour. When its eyes were closed, there was only darkness. The salamander always preferred the light. Now it preferred the darkness. Because, the whole world had forsaken it – this world of beautiful, endless light. All that was left was the darkness of the abyss. This was its home, forever.

Not a single thing in the world would be able to accept this conclusion, of course, unless they themselves had been cast into a position of no hope at all. It would be too sad, wouldn't it? Even you, now, must in some way, be wishing for this little salamander's happiness. Whether it is out of pity, whether it is out of exasperation, whether it is out of expectation – there must be some part of you that is wishing for all the best for the salamander.

But it is true, you see. It is true, and in the very end, there is no running away from what is true. Surely you understand. The salamander is forsaken by all the world. There is no hope for it. This is a conclusion that no one will be able to accept, unless they too have been forsaken by all the world. You may not accept it. But it is true. It might not be your truth, but it is surely the salamander's truth.

So, for this reason, please. Please don't make fun of, please don't belittle this little salamander. I honestly believe that, if you have ever been in any similar circumstances as this little salamander, surely there would be some kindness in your heart, whispering for you to empathise with it deeply. Even if for just a few moments, please lend to it your heart.

The salamander was forsaken by all the world. But only now could it come to terms with this truth. It was imprisoned in the cave, it was imprisoned by the exit, it was imprisoned in its own body. At last, it had come to surrender the weight of these facts. From then on, it pledged to itself to only live for itself, to enjoy all that there was to enjoy. But every now and then, a chilly night wind would blow by, or maybe the water levels would dip into winter, and the salamander would sigh to itself,

"Aa, the colder it gets, the lonelier I feel!"

As a matter of fact, every now and then, it can still be heard: the little cries of the abyss.

One day, the salamander's prayers were finally answered.

From the window at the very top, as though from the heavens, down dropped a little blue frog.

When the salamander saw this, it felt elated. Finally, there was something else in the same situation as the salamander. Finally, there was someone who could share in the salamander's everyday, be it the joys, the boredoms, or the anguish. What more, the frog from the surface! The salamander delighted in the misfortune of the frog, thinking to itself that at last there was some justice for all that it itself had suffered.

Then, when the frog at last regained its balance, the salamander pretended to block the exit on purpose.

"You're not leaving this place. You're gonna stay down here forever."

The frog, finally registering what had happened to it, scrambled away and hopped onto a higher platform in the cave. It hid behind a wall and, in a tone of obviously false bravado, shouted out,

"I'm fine! You can't do anything to me!"

"Oi! Come out!"

The salamander got angry and bellowed out so. Thus began their exchange of sharp words.

"It's none of your business! It's my choice whether I wanna come out or not. What are you going to do about it?"

"All right then! Do whatever you want! Stay there forever for all I care!"

"Stupid!"

"Idiot!"

In this way, they continued to laugh at, chide, and insult each other. And this went on the next day, the day after, and the day after that, and on and on, the same routine.

Barely even realising it, almost a year had passed since their first meeting. Throughout the winter, both salamander and frog hibernated all through the season. But at the first sign of spring, they sprung back to liveliness again. The salamander, as always, munched on the plants nearby it, and ate any shrimp that happened to swim into the bottom of the cave.

The frog, on the other hand, tried to escape. Again and again, it tried to scale the walls of the long tower of a cave, hoping to one day go back to where it came from. The salamander watched all this from its spot and laughed.

"Idiot! It's too slippery there! You'll never get out!"

"You're the idiot! Why should I believe a single thing you say! You're the one not letting me out! I won't know if I don't try!"

"Seriously! Stop being so stupid and come down!"

"No, you!"

"Fucking idiot! I hope you fall and crack your skull!"

And true enough, the frog falls and falls again. But it never seemed to lose faith, believing that all its persistence would one day be rewarded. And the salamander never tired of watching the spectacle unfold before it. It found it hilarious to see the frog fall down, no doubt. But it also liked to watch the frog try its very best. There were some moments when the salamander imagined that, one day, the frog might really climb all the way up and escape the cave. The salamander felt a bit lonely, but it also knew that when the time came, it would certainly be glad for the frog.

But this time never came.

Winter was almost coming again. The frog had spent all of spring, summer, and autumn trying in vain. And at last, as it was resting, it realised that the salamander had never really moved from its position this whole while.

"Ah! No wonder you don't ever move from that spot! Your tail's stuck there, isn't it? Stupid fool!" the frog shouted out from behind the wall as usual. But though it knew now that the salamander could not move, it still did not want to come down nor leave the shadow of the wall. It didn't want to lose to the salamander.

And the salamander, knowing fully well that its entire body was blocking the exit, could freely return the insult.

"Oh, so that's how it goes! Okay then, you're right. I'm stuck down here. But what about you? How're you gonna get out now, huh?"

"Wh – of course I can! You just get out of the way!"

"Oh, I'll get out, I'll get out. Come on out and meet me face to face, then I'll get out! What? Too scared?"

"Too scared? Says the genius who plugged her body into the exit. Real smart move right there, real smart."

And so, another year passed like this.

Their banter was no longer as lively as it used to be. They no longer tried endlessly to trump over the other. The frog stopped trying to climb out since some time ago. It had grown too tired to do so, not having enough food. It could have simply come down and ate the same aquatic plants as the salamander did, but it chose not to. Every time the salamander tried bringing the suggestion up, the frog would flatly refuse.

Now, it was summer again. Everything was colourful outside. Everything was bright. Stuck in the cave, unmoving for so long, both of them had become very tired. They barely had any energy left. For the most part of the day, they dwelled in heavy silence. Even their voices were now more quiet than ever, each not wanting the other to notice how faint their breath had become.

Then, suddenly, one day, the frog unintentionally let out a sigh. It was just the smallest sigh, a little _aaaaah_. Perhaps it believed that since it was hiding behind the wall, the salamander would not notice it.

But the salamander did. The salamander looked upwards to where the frog was, with eyes of friendly warmth.

"… oi. You sighed just now, didn't you?"

In slight defiance, the frog replied,

"… what about it?"

"Don't say that. You know, it's fine now. You can come down now."

"Come down? I'm too hungry to even move."

"Aa… then, that's it then?"

The frog replied,

"Nn. This is it."

They pause. After a while, the salamander asked,

"What're you thinking about now?"

And, very softly, the frog replied.

"I don't think I'm mad at you anymore. I don't think I ever was."

* * *

Later in the day, the frog calls out.

"Hey…"

"Nn? What?"

"Come a bit closer."

"I can't," the salamander says.

"It's cold."

"Really, I can't."

The frog laughed and agreed.

A small silence lingers. It is still sunny outside.

Then, the frog calls out.

"Hey…"

"Nn?"

With a weak laugh, the frog says,

"You know, Kyouko, you were right. You were right all along. I really am an idiot."

The frog gives one last sigh.

"Oi."

There is no reply.

"oi."

There is no reply.

The salamander stops.

Then, it takes one step forward, and another step forward. But it doesn't move.

With all that's left of its strength, it pushes forward. Finally, its tail rips off. It is free.

Bleeding, the salamander crawls up onto the platform where the frog is. It moves behind the wall.

And for the first time, it sees the frog's face up close.

"Oi. Sayaka."

There is no reply.

The salamander licks the frog's face, trying to wake the frog up. The frog does not wake up.

And so, saying, "It must be cold," the salamander wraps itself around the frog. By nightfall, it bleeds itself away.

Come spring, the little white spores dancing all around the water at last land peacefully upon them like snow. A light veil of moss begins to grow over them.

And at last, with the passing of days, their remains disintegrate and are gently carried away by the wind and water current, out of the cave, into the sky and the sea beyond.


End file.
